环岛高飞 Soaring over north island

I have been dwelling on a piece of tragic  news all day long. A lecturer from the computer science department die of heart attack some days ago. I felt even worse when my flatmate comfirmed me that this lecturer was the one I met in person some months ago in a seminar. He was invited to share his experiences in doing research and finalizing his phd thesis within two years time. He was also a lawyer and architect. I assume his death is tightly related to the stress he had burdened all these years. Also his death makes me reminisce and question if I am doing the same thing: runining my life in the glorious name of "devoting to research".

 

I reckon I am doing much better on some aspects: never sacrifice the social time with friends, little hobby on white wine, work out and stay in fitness. I guess I need some love. lol. Or I have had much bless from the One.

 

Well, this summer is over...The festival is once again caught in rain. Isnt it strange: every year the lantern festival is caught in rain, the year before last year, last year was worse. It was pouring that we had to hide under the parvilion most of the time.

好久没有写日志。总是忙忙碌碌的在办公室里编程序，写论文，准备发言稿，预订机票酒店等等等等。

前天窗外炮声隆隆，一时间错觉南京多年前放炮炸山。。。而后才看见天上的焰火。。。又错过了。自从搬出学生宿舍，生活渐渐冷清平淡。幸而室友很友善，相处和睦开心。使得我有足够的精力专心研究。昨晚终于调通了程式。现在就可以大量的测试获取仿真数据了。借他之力。我方得按计划进行。更希望能提前完成第二个项目，这样我就可以在南京多停留一些天。

没有神的力量，我无法负担这生命之重。愿基督常驻我心，并将一切荣耀归于我主。

第三个异域的圣诞和新年。同样的城市，不同的人群。当新奇褪去的时候，思考留下足迹。

 

在网上看了the queen's message。尽管不同人对这位在21世纪仍然保持世界影响力的女人有着不同的看法，但是不可否认她的message传达了一个基督信仰捍卫者对喧哗的当世的忧虑。毕竟传统上xmas标记着曾经有那么一位救世主的诞生，而不是世界范围的购物狂潮。在分享与家人团聚的喜悦之余，应该反省我们是否为那些被社会shut off的人们做了什么。遗憾的是，纵欲的享受物质世界带来的感官刺激远远要比self-repentance来的简单愉快。

 

在外地几个城市旅游的时候，不单单被纽西兰的自然美景所震撼，更为纽西兰人，不管是白人或是毛利人，为了保护这片纯真家园的努力所感动。在偌大的一个地热自然公园里，只有寥寥可数的几个垃圾箱，但是鲜见（几乎不见）垃圾，而且并不是有工作人员在随时收集垃圾。

 

无论是在纽西兰，还是在澳洲或者美国，都可以感受到当地人散发出来的文化烙迹：一种优雅，或有活力的印记。我在想中国人什么时候能自然的散发出来这种气息，已将我们和日本人和韩国人自豪的区分开来。我们能做什么呢？

last nite, i had a horrible nitemate. i saw the dead in my dream. hundreds of them mounted up from the underground, mourning and weeping. suddenly i realized that the same day 70 years ago, my hometown suffered from the holocaust. i never expect that i could be so strongly spiritually connected to my people even i am geographically separated from my land. after 70 years, the grief and sorrow in both the dead and the alive cannot be consoled.

 

Apart from sincerely praying for the peace from the Lord on those who suffered and myself,  i shall write down the visit i paid to the holocaust memorial museum in washington DC. Different places, the same grief.

 

the buidling depresses visitors by its twisted structure in space. "Today the Lord is not here, father." Yes, the sculpture standing at the entrance to the museum gave me this feeling. I saw quivering hands strenching out for help. The internal space of the museum looks being distorted, not in regular shape: no order, no morality.

 

so much to say about the visit. i just choose serveral of them which impressed me the most.

 

hundreds of grey and dusty shoes in various size are placed aside a corridor. those shoes were on the jews before they were sent to the gas room. tons of sacked hair piled up at a corner. the wood bunks where dozes of ppl crouch. yes, those bunks are exactly the same as in the movie, die list of schindeler. various badges that categorize prisoners in the concentration camp. the nazi "doctors"' measurements to identify supervior citiziens....so on.

 

the jews never ever turn their back on the miserable history. how can we so easily forget the sufferings of the past generations that are actually not too long ago.

 

I call for setting up of a memorial a weeping wall in everyone of us. deeply engrave the past in our hearts for better future.

took off on 23 Nov in fear and trembling. heave's known what could happen in the air towards america. Thank Lord the plane arrived safely in SF after 13 hrs. I wasted the next 10 hrs at the SF airport. Really regret that I didnt go to the downtown. It was pretty hot in SF that day. Even warmer than AKL. nothing unexpected occured when passing the immigration stand. Actually it was a chinese -speaking officier served me. he seemed being surprised when heard that i chose to do my phd in nz rather than us.

sth enlightening at the SF airport is the expo of creative items along the path towards terminals. no wonder CF contributes a big portion of gpa every year. the items demonstrated at the expo are things that may influence the daily life of everyone like u and me.

guess i just miss the feeling of family. after returning from the farm where the big family take care of each other no matter what and where, particularly at the dinner table, i cannot stop missing what left in blank in the past nearly one year time: home and family.

 

plus, indulged in the tv series B&S these days. another "boring" yet gentle drama about family stories. no mood for work at all. again, tasks have been piled up: research, paper, thesis, accommodation, trip plan, vacation plan, etc. should life be kept in busy?

 

missing home...misisng home...missing home...

spent four days five nites over a flower farm in kumeu and now i am back to face the piled up work in the office again. great stay in the short holiday during which i gained some weight and steadiy overcome the "jetlag" caused by the summber time adjustment. pure fresh air in kumeu particularly after the thurder rain. it rarely occurs in this time of a year: summer is right ahead. and i can forseen the bikinis on the beach. ^_^

 

had a meeting with my supervisor today regarding the tasks assignment for my final year of the doctoral research. i am firmly believe that the tasks can be crushed down with His blessing.

 

called home as usual. apart from being urged to take care of myself, the topic of sorting out girlfriend is once again put on the table. in Him I am trust that one day i will meet the right one at a special occasion in a special way.

 

my friend emily has been on her way to Ukraine as a volunteer and english teacher for 27 months. may Lord bless her and be with her no matter how ragged the way is.

celebrated the mid-fall day in the church with more than twenty others sharing the joy. this is the third mid-fall day i had here. the first one was in the buffet back in 2005, the second was lost in time.

 

sung the amazing grace in front of audience, who gave me big applaude and encouragement. two years changed a man so much so deep. constant self-refelction teaches me to cherish what i am holding in my pulm, and apprehense the difficulties of others. i was so proud and could never be satisfied, seduced by temptations. yet now, something amazing occurs deep inside.

called home, and mom blamed me of getting slim. yes indeed, i am losing weight undeniably. no longer a puffy penguin compared what i was last year. 

 

research goes on. ideas have been sorted out. need time to perfect the theoretical analysis and then the simulation.

 

a short talk with emily last nite after losing connection for couple of weeks. hope she goes well with her decision. on the other side, she suggests some of her friends for me to meet up in DC. little pitty she wont appear at that time.

jeeeezzz...fianally finished the programming for the student assignment, and the marking itself. the whole day was spent in the office. persumably i am the very only one on this level at current moment: spooky dark outside the office.

 

chips, cookies, and biscuits...mmm too much fingers lately. no wonders weight goes up despite of "irregular" work out (what a shame). Must accelerate the research progress before my departure for the holiday.

 

plus keeping an eye on apartments recently. Moving again soon...

给老板一通臭骂以后一点点开窍。呵呵，发现第一稿的论文的确是垃圾。花了3天改好了第二版。现在又发现另一篇写得鲁乱七八糟，怪不得没有被globecom收录。好在现在改起来也还来得及。

 

奥克兰又开始下雨。这天气，就没干过几天。湿漉漉的难受。更不合我的口味。

 

明天 下半学期又要开始。对我而言，就要面对一大摞的作业批改。要是他们全部用统一个格式书写多好。可惜千人千面。

Sept 4, completed the first draft of the paper.  ten days left for the remarks and comments. I though i could take a break,but orders from supervisor suggest presentations setting up among postgraduate students, certainly including me. i guess he just wants us to keep busy.

 

anyway, the farmstay by the end of this month is for sure. badly need this holiday to recover.

 

i must have screwed up the poster competition. the conclusion part is missing from the poster as i suddently realized.

来奥克兰整整2年！ 别样的人生，别样的心情。

 

网上在教会度过，比一个人孤孤单单的晚餐温暖。  

 

两年里，学着独立，学着进取，学着交际，学着关心，学着感恩，学着去爱，学着担负责任。还有很多要去领悟。只怕我的渺小永远负担不起如此的厚重。 博士已经读了2年。争取按时毕业。或许是不可能完成的任务。但凡有可能，就要争取。

 

签证在周五的时候拿到，算是给两周年的贺礼。正如默默祈祷的一样，任务被一个个完成，也相信一切都会慢慢好起来。

 

 the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfullness, gentleness and self-control.

                                                                                                                 - Golations 5:22 -

visa has been granted this morning after a short interview at the consulate. it was as hard as decribed in the rumor. although the security steps taken were serious. The decline of the guy ahead pushed me a little nervous, but when the time came to face the officer, there was not too much choice. Anyway,it was a happy ending.

 

Air-ticket and accommodation also have been reserved. I cannot afford the fare at the hilton hotel, but a small inn nearby rescue me from the delimma. I shall be able to stay in DC for around 10 days.

 

The poster is almost done. Waiting for comments from friends.

 

Now the very last task is to get the paper done before the deadline. And then I will grow flowers in the gardon for one week in the srping sunshine.

 

wind is howling and rainis pouring ... since when AKL incurs so many wet days?

 

Have been completely engaged by piled up tasks for weeks. Interestingly, I was almost overturned when saw those scheduled work. Step by step, they are under the crashing down. The poster is at the end phase. Spent two nites on studying photoshop in order to manipulate figures for my poster. In all three days were threw on the poster. Pretty quick, actually must faster than I estimated.

 

Bad news is about my health. I assume regularly working out at the gym can benefit me not only from running into hotties, but also keep me in fitness. Well, neither wishes become true so far. And I am getting sick due to the bloody weather.

 

In two days will be my second year anniversary of dropping from the air dwon to NZ. Deserve a break, however, put it off to the end of Sept, by when I will be in a farmstay for couple of days.

 

Wish me luck for tomorrow's interview.

so damn busy these days. five tasks must be completed with 2 months. 

 

the applicaiton for travel grant is finalized several hours before the deadline today. and the poster preparation gets started, and must be finished before Aug 24. I even dont know how to use the damn photoshop to artilize my poster. one paper needs to be revised before resubmitting to the conference in beijing, and some other two are in progressing, the result of which may hopefully be concluded into another paper for the beijing conferene. Heaven knows if i can make it or not.

 

the visa application crowls onto my agenda as well. related documents must be ready no late than Sept, or the applciaiton will be serverely delayed, which directly jeopardize my conference attendence. i am concerned about the trip to washington now, for many reasons.

 

other problems go to the accommodation for the next year...the braceless love from parents in those boxes turns to be my burden: how can i carry them around myself!!!

世界的基础是信仰﹑知识和慈善.信仰是人和上帝连结的最直接的纽带；慈善是人和人之间相互扶持的纽带；知识是人类走向纵向和横向的无限空间，取得真理的纽带。 

教育不是知识的传授，而是培养能为上帝和社会做贡献的人才。

 

 

 

 

 

 

Reviewed the comedy connie and carla once more. I LOVE this movie!!!! 

 

The first glimpse on this movie was around three years agao when I was "extending the usage" of the PC for my master thesis. lol. More than half of the storage was occupied by movies and music. Delete all of them ultimately including this halirious movie (start regretting). Being touched by those old-fashioned songs in the movie.

 

 Maybe this Time
Maybe this time, I'll be lucky    Maybe this time, he'll stay
Maybe this time                     For the first time
Love won't hurry away

He will hold me fast                I'll be home at last
Not a loser anymore               Like the last time
And the time before

Everybody loves a winner       So nobody loved me;
'Lady Peaceful,' 'Lady Happy,'  That's what I long to be
All the odds are in my favor     Something's bound to begin
It's got to happen, happen sometime
Maybe this time I'll win

 

DON'T RAIN ON MY PARADE
Don't tell me not to live, just sit and putter             Life's candy and the sun's a ball of butter
Don't bring around a cloud to rain on my parade       Don't tell me not to fly, I simply got to
If someone takes a spill, it's me and not you            Who told you you're allowed to rain on my parade
I'll march my band out, I'll beat my drum                 And if I'm fanned out, your turn at bat, sir
At least I didn't fake it, hat, sir                             I guess I didn't make it
But whether I'm the rose of sheer perfection           A freckle on the nose of life's complexion
The Cinderella or the shine apple of its eye             I gotta fly once, I gotta try once,
Only can die once, right, sir?                                Ooh, life is juicy, juicy and you see,
I gotta have my bite, sir.                                     Get ready for me love, 'cause I'm a "comer"
I simply gotta march, my heart's a drummer             Don't bring around the cloud to rain on my parade,

I'm gonna live and live NOW!                                 Get what I want, I know how!
One roll for the whole shebang!                             One throw that bell will go clang,
Eye on the target and wham,                                One shot, one gun shot and bam!
Hey, Mr. Arnstein, here I am ...

I'll march my band out, I will beat my drum,             And if I'm fanned out, your turn at bat, sir,
At least I didn't fake it, hat, sir,                            I guess I didn't make it
Get ready for me love, 'cause I'm a "comer"             I simply gotta march, my heart's a drummer
Nobody, no, nobody, is gonna rain on my parade!

 

In fact, Alex is not the first boy's name appearing in the dictionary, and has no similarity with my given name in pronunciation. It was picked up after the hero of mine, Alexander the Great, who achieved the marvelous feat, by paying unbearable price. It is unfair to evaluate a historic figure through hollywood movies. But I was deeply touched by several aspects when enjoy the "Alexander the Great". His courage in the face of pagans, death, his anger and scorn on treasure, and his fear for losing his beloveds. After all, he is a man, one conquered his spirit of death, but withered in the hand of destiny.

 

Heros are worshiped, perhaps for their tremendous sufferings that can barely undertake by the ordinary.

 

Want to be a hero? Being a fighter against the life storm.

50g of gold coffee  dissolved in water within five days. I guess I am desperately addicited to this seductive drug. It works perfectly anyway: refreshing the muggled brian in this muggy, somber and rainy morning. Auckland becomes the city of rain in the past months. And I am in the day dream of the sunshine, beach and water.

 

Thoughts are flying:

11:11 shows up many times in my life recently. Woke up at 11:11, turned off the tv at 11:11, taking a break at 11:11. Isnt it weird? Or is it a sign, pointing out my destiny of ending up along?

 

Why the hair at the neck is so itchy, while the rest coveries the head well? After doing some DIY on my hair, I realized I shall be a barber, and I will give you a discount.

 

Why it is so hard to write an email? Words were rumbling inside, but when it's time to put them on paper, they have all gone. Coincidently the paper writing gets stuck. Need to sort out the equations under the assitance of the coffee.

 

For the first time in my life, the last penny in my visa card disappears: bascially bankrupted, and have another 10 days to go before the next round of stipend arrives. Unbelieveable, truely!

 

it is certainly not easy to arrange everything before proceeding the online visa applicaition. Much more complicated than the visa to Aus. There was no necessity to figure out the accommodation when I applied visa to Aus, though I was confronted by the custom officer at the sydney airport. However the pre-condition is totally different this time. So I must convince the department of paying my bill at the hilton hotel, which is most unlikely, or seek for motel or backpacker by myself...quite concern in case the latter situation occurs. And the photo needs to be retaken. Where the bloody hell are those qaulified photographers can i get...

 

plus, the more i read, the more i get lost in my work...

these days have been so strange after being back from Welly. It was more than happy to know that my paper was accepted, but then missed the scheduled meeting with the HoD. Damn, I thought today was July 3, but actually yesterday was. So when i went to see him in the office this afternoon, he was apparently pissed off.

 

Then tonite, i locked myself outside the office while left the key on my desk. it was just for a cup of coffee. Yea, i had the coffee. had to go home early. however due to the coffee, cannt fall into asleep now.

 

strange days ...

Monday, woke up abnormaly early: 9:30AM. I was even the first one open the door to the office!

 

Then login the computer and checked out emails piled up for couple of days. SURPRISE! The paper acceptance notification from Globecom are right there in the incoming box! Among three papers, one has been accepted, while the rest two are rejected. No too bad, considering Globecom is the world top leading flagship conference in the communication field, one paper acceptance is good enough.

 

The reviewers' comments on the accepted paper are also quite possitive. One reviewer even gave 5 out of 5 on my paper writing. What are bizarre from the comments on the second paper of mine, which was rejected. Out of three reviewers, one of them gave negative and harsh words, while another one gave very encouraging recommendations:"strongly recommend the acceptance of this paper without changing of the contexts. The third one also gave 4 out of five in those critical paper measurements. However, this paper is turned down no matter how good the remarks are. Quite bizarre, and pitty. Well, never mind, based on the revising comments I can easily improve these rejected ones and submit them for another big event in Beijing in 2008.

 

So quite happy and surprised new week ahead!

 

May all the glory to Him who grants me the wisdom and honor related to these remarkable jobs. Thanks to the Lord accompanying me always.

 

What about you my dear friends? 

Flying to Wellington on June 27, and returning back by train on June 30, I spent three entire days in Wellington, the capital of NZ. Around 30 spots I gave a trial. Starting from the beehive where the function was held, then the te papa museum. The next day (28), I walked through the Cuba st., to the civic center, then the Oriential bay, then the Mt. Victoria lookout, then those theaters, one among which the  premiere of the lord of the ring was held. June 29 was the museums and galleries day. The Wellington museum of the city and the sea was my favorite. The the academy of fine art, the national library, the old St. Paul church, the Wellington Cathedral, the beehive and parliment building tour, the cable bus, Botanic garden, embassy of China, Willis st, ect. On June 30, the overlander took me back to Auckland. Over 13 hours journey, we passed at least 10 viaducts, and passed by the snow mountains.

 

The backpacker I stayed was not very pleasent. Well, just two nites anyway, and the price was reasonable. So no complain. Quite a lot of walking over the past three days. Being afraid of getting lost, I was walking all day long: even from the oriental bay to the mt. victoria lookout and then the whole walk back. Actually again lost sometimes in the wood...not soo funny in those rainy days tho.